The End of an Era of my Life
March 21st, 2007 by MarkI guess I’ve always organized and remembered my experiences based upon who was around me at least as much as upon what I was doing. My first couple of years in Taiwan were difficult in several ways. That time ended when I started working at Modawei, though. More than anything else, I valued that experience for the people I met. At the time I considered pretty much every teacher at the school a friend, and Mike, Nathan and Martin were very good friends. After moving to Guishan, I lost touch with Mike. Nathan became an even better friend that year, but he eventually left Taiwan and became a philosophy teacher at a community college back in Michigan. And now I’ve recently learned that, Martin, my best friend in Taiwan, will be leaving very soon.
Despite all the frustrations I had with the management and the curriculum at Modawei, I’ll never regret working there. The people who were working there were the very antithesis of the stereotypical “low-quality foreigners” that Daniel has written about. Every single teacher there was intelligent and successful in some way or another. All of them could speak Chinese well enough to run a class of absolute beginners without the help of a co-teacher. Two had philosophy degrees. One had a near perfect undergraduate record as a bio-chem major. Most of all, I didn’t meet a single co-worker there who had an overly negative attitude towards Taiwan. They all enjoyed living here, they were all interested in the local culture, and they were all interesting people to talk to. It was the first time I’ve ever liked all of my coworkers. We went out after work together almost every single night.
Since then, I’ve had good experiences working elsewhere, but the social element has been missing. Ron was a great boss, but the two of us were the only teachers there. Similarly, I get along with Simon well, but we have quite a few work related things to talk about in the office, and we usually aren’t even there at the same time. This isn’t to say that my social life has suffered. On the contrary, writing this blog has been wonderful for it. I must have made a dozen friends that I’ve met and hang out with offline, just due to this site.
What does seem to be a constant, though, is the ongoing churn of the expat scene. An old co-worker goes home, while an old teacher moves here as a diplomat. An old classmate from college shows up in Taiwan as a Chinese student, while another old friend packs his bags to leave. It just doesn’t stop. Old faces are constantly being replaced by new ones. I don’t feel sad. I just wish that time would stand still for a moment so I could look around and take everything in, exactly as it is right now.
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March 22nd, 2007 at 12:51 am
Kind of what a blog is for, no? Wish these things had been around during my ‘gap’ years…
March 22nd, 2007 at 1:01 am
I can see how that is hard, seeing people come and go. But that is the life of living abroad. People have different ideas and projects when they come teach or live here.
Sometimes it doesn’t work out, sometimes they need to go back.
I do miss my friends and family back home, but I find that life here is much more interesting that the daily grind I had back home.
And I am close to a lot of places I want to see in south-east Asia.
Nevertheless, it is harder if you are alone. I have my wife, and I am unsure if I would be able to do it by myself. She remains constant in my life.
March 22nd, 2007 at 1:14 am
A transient lifestyle. Such is the life of an expat.
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:45 am
Doesn’t Skype and other internet tools help bridge the gap? I’ve always made an extra effort to keep in touch with anyone I thought worth keeping in touch with. I think this will be less of an issue with the “younger” generation as they’re tapped into the whole myspace/MSN/Skype/Youtube thing from day one.
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Hey Mark, at the same time, you have a world of expats who can sympathize.
Over the last four years, I’ve lived abroad three times on two different continents, and I’ve learned to take advantage of the time I have now with my friends, because one day our relationship will transform into one in which two good intentioned friends write two or three emails a year saying, “I’ve been meaning to write you for a while, but I’ve been so busy.”
It’s a very bittersweet life. More sweet than bitter though.
Have a good one,
Robert
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:11 pm
I know what you mean. After a while I stopped trying to meet anybody new and lived like a hermit. I did share the same opinions as the guy from suitcasing. But I tried to stop judging people a few years ago and things have been better.
I do find it interesting that so many groups of people I have come into contact with here view the others as low-class or unworthy association. I did. The get drunk at Carnegies ex-pats derides the studious ex-pats. The entrpreneurial expats look down at the english teaching ex-pats who are looked down at by the university/international school teaching ex-pats and on and on.
I have learned that if you make an effort it is easy to meet people here. It is difficult to meet people who share the same interests or world views. Personally I find that if you ask some questions and and take the time to listen to ex-pats they will usually have something to say. I have met many people here I didn’t like or didn’t agree with but they usually had some story or experience that i can take with me. I have heard some of the most amazing, interesting and hilarious stories from what many bloggers would call ‘low-quality foreigners.’ I am not sure where they rank but I have heard interesting stories from missionaries. Even some corporate hires who I managed to chat up were abel to tell me something interesting.
I have found that most people are nice enough. I doubt that I will be able to make many good long term friends here because of the wife and kids (oh to have free-time) but I am not sure that people back ‘home,’ make that many new close friends as they get older. I have just tried to open my mind a bit to new people even if it will only be for a short time. Mind you, Canadians do piss me off with their constant talk of hockey and eskimoes.
March 24th, 2007 at 1:17 am
Prince Roy, I agree completely. I wish I’d been doing this for years.
Miltownkid, yes Skype is great. Actually, I even use it to talk with friends in Taiwan. It’s still a pale substitute for sharing a meal or a game of ping-pong with someone, though.
Everybody else, I haven’t left a 50km radius for four years. It’s everyone else who has been coming and going.
March 28th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
[...] able to do anythning else is, well, tiring. And it hurts my knees. Mark posted something on the transient nature of expat life. At the age of 38, I have not been an expat for 12 years. And of those, the most consecutive run in [...]
March 28th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
hi there, this is first time to visit your blog…
It is always sad to see people coming and going,
one of my friend has never got used of the life here since he has stayed in Taiwan for 2.5 years.
It is really tough when people dont open his mind to get involve the place.(I have some abroad-living experiences)
However, wish you enjoy your life here..
March 29th, 2007 at 5:46 am
I know exactly what you mean Mark. Time just keeps rolling and there’s nothing you can do to stop. Although I am looking forward to the next stage in my life I can get quite maudlin about the past. It makes it harder when the stages of your life happen to be on opposite sides of the planet. I miss Taiwan a lot, as I also miss your friendship and the great conversations that the two of us used to have over dinner and a beer. But, I will return to Asia! And on that note I will say I look forward to the next time I can share a meal and a beer with you accompanied by good conversation.
April 6th, 2007 at 2:12 am
I’ll be looking forward to it, too, Nathan.
April 22nd, 2007 at 5:12 pm
[...] four years. It was a lifetime ago, and I must have been a completely different person. Mark ended a recent post with the following: I just wish that time would stand still for a moment so I could look around and [...]
June 26th, 2007 at 12:29 am
[...] Another expat knows how I feel: What does seem to be a constant, though, is the ongoing churn of the expat scene. An old co-worker goes home, while an old teacher moves here as a diplomat. An old classmate from college shows up in Taiwan as a Chinese student, while another old friend packs his bags to leave. It just doesn’t stop. Old faces are constantly being replaced by new ones. I don’t feel sad. I just wish that time would stand still for a moment so I could look around and take everything in, exactly as it is right now. [...]