I’ll never forget the first time I met a conversation partner in Taiwan. She said, “你看起來像電影裡面…的壞人!” Not sure whether I should take it as a compliment or not, I asked her why. She said that guys with shaved heads and goatees and darker skin are always the bad guys. At the time, I was a bit concerned my appearance could be hurting my job hunt, so I grew out my hair a bit, and shaved the goatee.
Well, now my goatee’s back, my hair’s short and I am going to be a bad guy in a movie! On Saturday night, I headed into town, met up with Poagao and friends, and they filmed me in a bit part as one of the evil madman’s private guards. They dressed me up in black pants, a shirt three sizes too small, a flack jacket and a beret. The flack jacket hid my pudge and the tight shirt showed off my fairly large upper body. I got to forcibly restrain the super-spy (before he cut his bonds with a knife he palmed without my noticing, killed one of the villains and escaped), lug around an automatic and look imposing. Yeah. I’m a 電影裡面的壞人.
The only problem is that filming went from 10PM to 5AM, and I pretty much lost coherence at 3AM. I sure hope I didn’t look like a tired evil guard. Also there’s the issue of the fact that my character failed absolutely and completely. Allowing the hero to palm a knife, cut his bonds and kill fellow bad guys sure isn’t likely to fly well with most ruthless overlords. I’m sure my character will be executed for his incompetence.