It’s no secret that the Japanese suck at English. Even though it’s compulsory for them to study it from elementary school on, and even though many study it in cram schools starting as soon as kindergarten, they suck. I don’t just mean a little, either. Even compared to Korean, Chinese, and Arabic speakers, the Japanese really suck at English. (Please don’t take offense at this, Kei, Ryuta, or Kazuto. You guys are are all the more impressive for overcoming what so few of your countrymen could.) It was in Japan that Engrish was born.

There are many theories as to why the Japanese struggle so much, such as geographic isolation, having a language with so few syllables, or cultural barriers to truly using foreign languages. I am far from qualified to weigh in on such an issue. However, I believe I’ve found the answer: All of their problems stem from programs like Surprise English.

Rewards and Punishments

Overwhelmed by Cuteness

I Can Speak English

I’ll Have This One Please