There’s nothing worse than the feeling of waking up, rolling over to the side, seeing a big spider on the wall, gasping and seeing the thing motor across the wall. I swear, these things are faster than cockroaches.

Super fast spider on my wall

Just what kind of spider is this that can move so f@#$ing fast? Is it poisonous? Can the thing zip up to me, pump necrotoxins into me and then disappear in a blur? I’m no fan of spiders, but nothing creepy should be this fast.

Fast spider

Fortunately, it seems the geckos have driven these eight-legged bundles of energy off… for now.